| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|12:03 am] |
This is the very deepest inhale/exhale I've had for a decade. It's reviving......telling of my heart and what's been real and what hasn't. It's interesting how surroundings affect each person differently. To some, this place would feel crushing - to me....freedom.
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 11th, 2009|02:51 pm] |
4.11
We blend together in life
one doesn't stand out further then the other
yet, as dimly lit stars deep in the night sky - if you focus hard enough
we gain brilliance.
And this is my hope:
that someday, when the breeze is just right and I've walked a few miles
down a stretch of pavement in a grand city
things will have turned out exactly as they should have. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2009|07:24 pm] |
I used to be lonely once. It's a distance hard to embrace
odd to the touch
like the slow changes time creates on skin
the anxiousness of being alive.
I have behaved irrationally.
Until I determined that 'real'
can be so much more then faith, belief and bright lights everywhere.
I'm a dreamer with some of the best of them
lying around like dirty weeds on the ground of my heart. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|03:05 pm] |
I want to look up at the sunlight...my eyes are heavy. This is just far too heavy. The tips of the barren trees stand out in this mute winter light...the gray clouds and sky I'd love to travel through is still, silent. My dreams are hanging high above me, watching me make the steady climb. I could be a bird when I reach the top....it's almost unbearable...the weight that strains the wings....the heaviness of heart. If I close my eyes, I can feel the bite of chilled air off the Promenade and the peaceful spread of buildings lining the sea, and somewhere in that vision is hope....a new beginning, something to finally call 'my own.' (I stopped waiting for your answers ages ago.)
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|01:57 am] |
I wish you were here....to weave your small threads of laughter in, around and through my neck....to yell deep into the cold, into the night...to throw our heads back. A chair pulled back and pushed in to signify intent, a raised eyebrow, a perfect and guided moment defined by the simplicity of being and the enjoyment of union.....an instant tingle of vitality that begins in my toes, comes through dancing in my stomach, up and over the tip of my head...you're as easily the moon as you are a street light in soft snowfall.
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| ...changes come |
[Jan. 8th, 2009|10:12 am] |
(Catia Chen, my favorite)
I've had wanderlust since the day I was born. Places, travel, people. It gets in my blood...like a drug. Give me a keyboard and some good shoes...and I will explore just about any place I can walk, run, fly, drive....you get it. My passion is life. We've been here too long. This is a great community, but for me, it's time. NY has been on my heart since I was young...maybe not where I'll wind up, but most definitely where there is the most opportunity. And, it might just be happening. At.long.last. Sky is the limit!
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2008|09:46 am] |
....a spread of wings....a leap with no precise decent.....just clear longing.
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| my Georgia star |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|03:07 pm] |
Days used to seem like water moving in and about
a very small, hidden cove....one to the next, we didn't notice.
there was too much to dream and we were busy
watching clouds move by and composing new love
languages with our tongues
You had a constant glow of embers illuminating you
enticing me to stay near the heat
close to the interior
I was full of whimsy and prone to acts of uncertainty
and you liked the shine
blinded with understanding and empathy
(we would take on the world together)
I would be thankful now for warm corners in the room
pockets of stillness where we can still both hear
familiar laughter and the hum of car tires
rushing mile after mile over pavement. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|09:10 pm] |
(For dad on a lonely night)
Seldom do I go along without stories
without a soundtrack running to them
an internal play from other worlds
but taking short breaths away from this
I see the distance
the hopeless patter of many feet around my heart
a reminder of something broken
would it come in a whisper
a great light filtered softly through morning curtains
like the quiet way he came and lit up the world around us
so brilliantly, yet, dim enough to rest the eyes
tired of searching for something sturdy
to cling to
...and she is right, when the flowers bloom again
he'll be home
(and we will be relieved) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2008|01:55 pm] |
Today
I'm gonna grow my hair out
wrap up in a long sweater
watch the light come through the windows
and dance about the room
listen to the trees sway
I've waited to hear you
and traveled a distance greater then I anticipated
to come home
a great cathedral
and voices ringing out
the same longing again
to make all of this
into music
(deeper still)
maybe You have an answer
if I close my eyes.
(inspired by: max richters 'horizon variations') |
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| I want to cry out loud |
[Oct. 19th, 2008|10:33 pm] |
....you're always out of reach
just at the edge of my fingertips....
just at the beginning and end of every last
song
and you said, "I won't be found here"
but where then
where?
(lets not use words this time around
...lets sing - but not with polished voices
with longing.)
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| a finality |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|02:07 pm] |
...there is no fault, no blame....no argument to be had
just acceptance...finally letting go
giving up on a nearly finished painting
something beautiful
hand crafted
artfully and painfully put together
my sweat, my flesh...and bits of my heart
poured out and lodged in nearly every corner
and the reality of the best of me
lost somewhere under foot, left in neglect....
(what did my laughter overlook this time?)
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| ....on finding. |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|01:31 am] |
It's a tracing of stars with my fingertips,
this moment of holding, of searching
(of trying to put a puzzle together - over and over again)
I'm trying to let what is heard on my heart
be a voice to the soul....
and no violin, no piano....no grand symphony can come near
can even embrace this.....it rides on the tongue of an angel
of one rarely seen, and even less - heard. But when
the splendor is encountered....when one can come near it.....
one such as myself....there is nothing more
then to be overcome.
I long to burn.....the notes into the air....through His embrace
through the knowing of Him.
someday, this longing will find a resting place
someday the sweet sounds that fill the caverns of my soul
will know the Maker that breathed life here in the first place.
(I hear You near in moments, the edges of my soul....even in my darkest hour
...are reaching, aching....when will You draw near?) |
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| on Love |
[Sep. 18th, 2008|08:31 am] |
There are mountains around my soul
deep pooling streams, rushing rivers
and I wish to go back in time. Start with a white linen
and weave the fabric through this....
and for peace of heart, no caverns
no valleys of stalactite....
no places so dark I've lost my way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2008|11:31 am] |
The embrace of this light takes a show of faith
a brilliant vision, etched far in front of me
coming clearer, not as washed with fog and
heavy memory
I see you around the trees, overhead
hear your whispers
still wondering if you are part of my reality
or your reality part of another place
that I can only hear deep within
a space I rarely find.
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| the Path |
[Aug. 23rd, 2008|11:51 pm] |
.....it blinks in and out
waves a bit
falls back to sleep and stays put
years could go by
and I wouldn't realize it there
until it wakes to bite my feet...... |
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| for Dad.... |
[Aug. 21st, 2008|01:39 pm] |
You came in with silence. You had a quiet face (still do) the kind that says, "you can trust me." Even through my heated glares and mistrust...and consistent harsh responses....you were steady, consistent...affirming. You have a way of winning hearts...at least, you have mine.
Last week you said, "this is my bag, it's what I do" in your old fashioned, Italian way. And in my most broken moments, you've never let go. In the weakest places....there you are, your constant peace....your sturdy frame. Your eyes....full of truth, full of wisdom. You're a place I feel has been always....even before, when I was a little girl. Right there, 'steady, steady.' I get you. And, I know you....get me. :-)
...not ready for you to go. I'm not ready for tomorrow. It's like barely catching breath....an understanding of something final....but my heart is refusing it. I hope tomorrow comes slowly and once it passes, the year seems barely more then a day.
I Love you. And, I only say it here...because I've said it first in person. :-) |
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| on Oceans |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|11:03 am] |
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I think it's come down to the tide and where it takes me...right now decision is like a bird in flight, a path not straight...unexpected currents in the wind. Storms approaching and no radar. It's hard to know what part of darkness is alright....and when the sunlight leaks in a bit...just in the cracks and only for a moment, I can see it clearly....but quickly fades out again. A vision on a starry night, two tall steeples over head and the simple bidding of stillness and a love greater then I am. This, a place to stay for a while...to consider the greatness of things to come, of hearts in tow...and hopefully, a winning solution. Again, a simple phrase, a ray of brilliance that takes edges off - "peace be still." |
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| on taking deep breaths. |
[Aug. 16th, 2008|04:19 pm] |
Today a thousand dreams and voices whispered in unison, feel caught among a tangle of rocks...the waves have come in from a long distance and I see clearly now - even without the guidance of the lighthouse I stood in wait for...so long. In some ways, I've waited for clarity
in others, I'm taken by surprise....but either way, it's doing this alone that seems to remind me that life is not what we make it. Sometimes it seems that way, but really....it's like writing music. Sometimes it plays out before me as majestic and complete as a fully grown tree, and other times....an ending appears....or a beginning or something meant for the middle...and either way, I have to write it down, savor it on my heart, over my tongue and let it back out again - sometimes returning, and sometimes not.
(Thanks, dad. I love you.) |
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